This Journey Called Life
It was a sunny 95 degrees outside and as I was driving my kids to the dentist, I felt a bit morose. Being a full-time stay-at-home mom can be quite isolating. Sure, there are other moms in the neighborhood to chat with and compare notes with. But really, I want to be “enlightened.” I suppose I struggle at times because I wonder what life is like outside my sphere of reality. Is it adventurous, fast-paced and exciting? Is it beautiful, poignant and meaningful? Not to say that my life isn’t those things, at times, but I do feel “trapped” every now and again…
It’s ridiculous, I know. I try to be grateful for all of the good things in my life. I want to be wise, content and have clarity of vision on this journey called “life,” but oftentimes I find that I am foolish, sad and a bit lonely.
Well, that lasted a full five minutes. Then I remembered my dear friend who was lovely, good and wise. She was murdered a few years ago in the Ivory Coast. She was a grandmother, mother and friend. I think of her during these moments of self-pitying weakness. She used to say to me, “Sounds like someone needs to count her blessings!” When I thought of her reminder, I took a breath, slowly exhaled and started counting:
1. This journey called life.
2. My family: Matt, my children, the rest of my family.
3. My friends. The human connections I’ve formed, from my soul.
4. Good health.
5. The material things I’ve been blessed with: home, job, food, clothing, etc.
6. The knowledge that there is more to this journey, after we die.
7. The talents I’ve been blessed with, such as playing classical piano.
8. The joy I find in reading or watching a good movie.
9. The opportunity to learn and grow. The capacity to learn.
10. Dancing! (now with my children.)
Needless to say, the self-pity party was momentary weakness and dissipated shortly thereafter. Thank you my friend A for gently telling me to “suck it up.” I will forever be grateful.
11. free housing in NYC and San Fran!
I love you my dear wonderful sister! you do have so many talents…so jealous of the fact that you can actually cook (really good food)…i remember when i made calzones for dan and matt was like ‘diane made this?’ in complete shock, followed by ‘it’s actually good.” lol.
and you are so crafty - well, you know, artsy and stylish and design-oriented.. 
I think we all have this tendency, regardless of circumstance. I am involuntarily stuck in the fast-paced corporate world for the time being, and I would LOVE to not have to deal with it. I am so over it. I am on a specific timeline to “retire” in the foreseeable future, but I will not be surprised if when that day comes I find myself with the same concerns you have, so I agree it’s all about identifying the positive aspects of your specific situation.