Ham Fried Rice

Thanks to my friend “Chester,” my cover is blown. (Well, in this neighborhood, anyway.) Contact me if you want access to the family blog.

Many are familiar with Randy Pausch’s video on Youtube. However, I highly recommend reading his book, The Last Lecture. It’s a quick and easy read. Yet, there is so much truth and poignancy to be found within its pages. (It’s also more comprehensive than the Carnegie Mellon video.)

His story is life altering, giving us perspective on what’s actually important in this life. At times it’s quite difficult to get through, knowing that this is a man who will die within a few months, still attempting to leave a legacy for his children, to find a way to teach them, to be with them and love them, when he’s no longer with them. He’s defied death so far, but according to his blog, his cancer has metastasized.

He is a complete stranger, and yet I feel such compassion, sorrow, joy, hope and love for him and his family. What a courageous example to us all. Tomorrow I am going to paint one of his mottoes on my wall: Don’t complain; just work harder.

Staying up and playing the Wii until 1:45 a.m… especially when the baby was up at 3 a.m. for a feeding.

I’m a little tired, but I have to say it’s nice to feel like I have a moment to myself, no requests from friends, family members, kids or husband. Just Mii and the Wii.

I should be in bed, trying to sleep. But instead, I am about to go play my son’s Nintendo Wii. Because I am a video game junkie. Ha!

WE DID IT! We are credit card debt free! It took ten months and let’s just say it was enough consumer debt that could have afforded us any of the following:

1. Go to New Zealand (my dream!!) for our 11th wedding anniversary.
2. See the Sistine Chapel in Italy, 4 times.
3. Walk along the Great Wall of China, 2 times.
4. Take the kids to Hawaii, 3 times.
5. Take the family on an Alaskan cruise, 4 times.
6. Pay for more than half the cost of a new minivan, to haul the kids around town in luxury.
7. Take the kids to Disney World for a week or two, 3 times.
8. Buy a couple of extra large flat panel LCD TVs.
9. Install travertine floors, new vanities and redo the kitchen cabinetry.
10. Pay for 3/4 of the cost of finishing our basement.
11. Set aside partial college tuition for my children.
12. Buy the diamond ring I promised my mother, when I was 5.

Three months ago I wrote the following:

“As I read this list, I see that I’ve sacrificed my dreams (New Zealand,) and the worst is knowing that there is still debt to pay. It makes me want to vomit. We are paying dearly for the foolish mistakes and impulse buys we made over the last ten years. Yes, hindsight is 20/20 and the shoulda-coulda-woulda monster is not helpful in moving forward. But I mention this experience in the hopes that if my children read this someday, I want to teach them that there is absolutely nothing, NOTHING, worth purchasing on credit. You want some airline mileage, or some rewards incentives? Save your money and buy it with cash. Nothing is free in this world. Even if you’re disciplined enough to actually pay off your credit card (I only know 3 people who are disciplined enough to do it; my mom, my sister, and my friend Michelle,) think of the time you’ve spent budgeting to make sure it all comes out even. My sister and I determined long ago that our time is worth too much to sacrifice.”

As I read this, I sense the anger, frustration and despair in my tone. However, after following Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover plan, we are no longer slaves to credit card bondage. It has taken great courage at times, to stand resolutely in a crowd of neighbors who say, “Looks like it’s time for you to get a minivan; you should get one like ours…blah blah blah.” and I unashamedly respond, “yes, when it’s within my budget.” (Although on the inside I think, that’s really none of your damn business, you jackass who put your van on a home equity loan.) And it has taken a tremendous amount of discipline. Discipline to say no when friends urge me to go out, to not buy when I really want to, to pay off debt instead of spending it on something. But ten months ago we set a goal and we accomplished it. I’m proud of our commitment, discipline, and strength of character.

Now on to the next monkey… that horrible clutter…

It’s cryptic, I know.

This past Saturday Matt and I celebrated (sort of) our 11th wedding anniversary. Yes, we got married quite young by society’s current standards. But I had just graduated from college and Matt finished shortly thereafter. I say “sort of” in terms of celebration because we had a house full of out-of-town guests: My friend and her two sons, and her twin sister and her three sons. And those five boys plus my son meant we had six boys all under the age of six-and-a-half running around, plus my two little girls. Let’s just say my cream berber carpet is now quite black in some areas. Hopefully I’ll find some good carpet cleaner!

As they were preparing to leave, one of the friends mentioned her 2 year-old son had suffered constant diarrhea during the last 2 days. To my horror, I watched as he shoved his hands down his diaper and then touch all of the baby’s toys. After the herd of friends left, my OCD kicked in and I proceeded that very night to clean the bathrooms, the floors, lysol down the toys, door knobs and anything else that might bring upon the dreaded Montezuma’s Revenge. I don’t know why, but lately I’ve become a bit of a germaphobe. I noticed it kicked in after my third child and I’m trying to figure out why… I’m obsessive and insistent with the hand sanitizer and hand washing and I feel uncomfortable whenever my children play with toys that don’t belong to them or when other children play with my children’s toys. I worry that they’ll catch gross diseases. For example, last summer my two year-old daughter caught hand-foot-mouth disease from who-knows-where and passed it to my five year-old. Last winter my son caught the stomach flu, twice, and passed the vomiting/diarrhea to my two year-old, twice. I realize that’s just the nature of the beast of childhood diseases; it goes around and then around and around some more.

As for the “nuttiness” of it all, I use the term in reference to my OCD, to seven little kids running around my house for three days (the baby is still immobile) and to laughing and having a good time with our friends. We did conduct a blind taste test of peanut butter between my fave Skippy and her fave Jif. We both preferred Jif. It was definitely a “nutty” weekend.

My 5 year-old had to get his kindergarten immunizations today, in anticipation for that glorious day in August when he starts school. I dosed him with tylenol, told him it would be fast and hurt, but only for a bit, and took him in. It was a horrible experience and I won’t go into the details, but four shots to the thighs and several sad screams and heartbreaking cries later, I offered to buy him a new game for his Wii.

The sweet old man assisting us at Wal-mart laughed when I mentioned this was a bribe for school shots. He said, “You know, my son did the same thing for his kids.” Then I sighed and said, “You know, when I was young (and remember, I’m only 32,) I remember you got your shots and that’s that. Maybe you got a lollipop. But that was it. No big deal.” He laughed and said, “That’s right! Things certainly have changed. (He looked to be in his 70s.)

So, fifty bucks later, I walk out thinking, I have contributed to the demise of this generation by spoiling my child. Hopefully the times I say “no” and the times I teach principles will stick with him and he won’t grow up feeling “entitled.” Today was a loss on that scorecard. But only time will tell.